Little Man White

Here is the birthing story, for those of you who are interested.

***Warning it was not pretty***

Saturday night after eating a late dinner of quesadilla's Matt and I prepared to go to bed early to try to correct ourselves for Daylight Savings time. As we were laying in bed my stomach suddenly ached in a way I had never felt. It was super sore and I couldn't figure out why.

We decided I would go upstairs and take a bath being as that usually calms my body so well. When we got upstairs I told Matt that I didn't feel good and I might need a throw up bucket for while I was in the tub. He had barely made it to the main floor of the house when I was bent over the toilet throwing up.

So after finishing that and taking a bath to relax we went back downstairs and I had a smoothie and some toast, hoping to settle my stomach. Little did I realize that this was my body's way of telling me that I was going into labor.

All night long I woke up with fairly painful contractions and when Matt asked me if I was in labor I responded that I was 50% sure I was. I didn't want to jinx it in early labor.

That morning as I got ready for church I knew I was in labor. The contractions were consistently 3-5 min apart and about a minute long each time.  I figured if I was going to give birth that day I wanted all the help I could get. So we were going to church to take the Sacrament. 

When we went to sacrament meeting we sat in the foyer. As we timed my contractions on Matt's Iphone some ladies from the ward were asking me how much longer. I smiled through the contractions and calmly responded he wasn't due for another week. I didn't want to tell them before we had told our own parents.

We went home almost immediately after partaking of the water and got dressed and ready for the hospital.  I was so glad we had prepared our hospital bags earlier that week and only needed to add a few things like the camera, cell phone chargers and computer.  We quickly loaded the car but then I had the sudden urge to make the bed. 

Nesting had kicked in and I made Matt let me change the sheets on the bed and make it before we left for the hospital.  I wanted to know we were coming home to not only a clean room but clean sheets as well.

As we were making the bed my water started to slowly leak. No big gush or anything just a constant feeling that I was peeing my pants. (not so fun!)

Realizing that my parents might be worried when we weren't at church or in the basement when they got home we stopped back by the church to tell my parents where we going. My mom was so excited and told us to hurry our butts up there. My dad didn't believe me until he saw I was in jeans. While I was in telling my parents Matt called his. They were so excited they would have beat us to the hospital had Matt not told them to wait.

When we arrived Honey, the midwife on call, verified that my water had indeed broken and we were in labor. This was nice because Honey was the same midwife who had helped us a few weeks early when I had been contracting. Suddenly the thought overwhelmed me, we weren't going home without our son.

We were the only labor patients at first so we had the nurses all to ourselves and they were amazing. Seriously I love the staff up @ the U of U hospital. It is the best medical service ever.

I was open to trying for an "all natural" birth but also open to having an epidural so we decided to make that decision once I got to 4 or 5 cm.

I walked around the floor with Matt trying to sooth myself when I contracted.  I realized that the Little Man was going to take a while so I urged Matt down to the cafateria to eat.  It took some convincing but I promised him the baby was no where close to coming and he would need energy to make it through the night with me.

While he was gone I plugged in my ipod and danced/sang in my room.  I also spent sometime bouncing on the birthing ball trying to help me progress. I was effacing and he was moving stations but I stayed dilated at a two.

Both sets of parents came to visit and that distraction was so nice. My parents brought me a beautiful vase full of tulips (my favorite flower).

While I was open to a "natural" labor I did forget that I already struggle with lower back pain from a car accident 5 years ago. Soon back labor pains started to kick in and I quickly requested an epidural. I couldn't take the pain at all.

Our anesthesiologist came right in and he was amazing. Seriously. He was.

The epidural was in super quick and it hurt way less to get than the contractions I was having.  The only thing that was not so fun is I could no longer move around the room.

Shortly after I got the epidural the nurse came in and confirmed one of our fears. Our Little Man's heartbeat hadn't been doing well. It didn't seem to stay stable during my contractions. So they were going to put a monitor on his head and see if that helped.

Shortly after that they came back and said Little Man still wasn't doing very good and now I would be on oxygen and a catheter as well.  The oxygen was to help him to see if he just wasn't getting enough down there. The catheter was to relieve any pressure that might be against him.

All 3 of my sisters stopped by to visit. It was such a great surprise and the energy and happiness they brought with them really helped to encourage me.  Quinci left me with a gift for our Little Man when he was born.  A small Winnie the Pooh.

I still was only dilated to a two and had been in labor for roughly 24 hours. I was almost completely effaced though so they decided to let me try to sleep and see if any pitocen would help me to dilate.

After for resting less than 45 minutes and shortly after midnight the doctors and nurse came in and informed us that things were not getting better. Now our Little Man's heart was having issues after my contractions. That is not a good sign. They strongly recommended a C section.

I was terrified. I hadn't prepared myself for this at all. I should have. Addie (my sister) had to have one but I figured my mom had birthed all 5 of her kids.  My grandma's had given birth just fine so it wasn't supposed to be a problem for me to do it too.

Now I wasn't opposed to a c-section because it wasn't "labor" I was opposed to a c section because I am scared of surgery.  Seriously who wants someone to cut them open!

The Little Man's heart was the issue though and he HAD to come FIRST.

I was thankful to have the option and thinking of what was best for him we opted for the surgery.

I was grateful it wouldn't be rushed and that things would be okay.

Matt gave me a blessing and we called and informed our parents what was happening and asked them to come out to the hospital. (My parents ended up picking up Addie and Quinci as well)

We waited and waited for what seemed like forever while another C-section finished up.

They had been in that surgery for 2 hours so that also had me worried.

I made Matt promise me that no matter what happened to me he would go with the baby.

As they wheeled me away to surgery (Matt would join us right before the first incision) my placenta abrupted/tore. They figure that this is why his heart beat was having trouble before. My body was trying to let us know that without some major help our Little Man wasn't going to make it through surgery.

We entered the O.R. @ 1:30. That is when they noticed all the blood.

I was shivering like a madwoman as they strapped me down to the bed. Calling it a bed might be a stretch.  They lay you down on a cross and strap down your legs. Your arms are left free to either side of you so they have access to all of your body.

The doctors were rushing and I knew that whatever was going on was not normal nor something that they had expected.

The anesthesiologist gave me the drugs as fast as they could and it stung as it entered my body. He quickly started checking my layers of skin to see if I could still feel the pain of the needle. I could.

He ended up giving me the max dose for someone my size. It should have taken a little while to set in but we didn't have a little while. As soon as I couldn't feel the pin pricking against my stomach the cut me open. 

As they sliced into me I looked for Matt. He wasn't in the room yet. I couldn't figure out what was taking him so long.  In all reality hardly anytime had passed and he was simply walking from our room down the hall to the O.R.

As he walked in my back was arched and I was screaming out in pain.

I couldn't feel the scalpel but I could feel everything else. I had always figured a c-section was painless because of all the drugs.

I was so unprepared for what lay in front of me.

I felt as if they were pulling a ten pound baby from just the small hole of my belly button. I screamed out in fear and pain. The pressure was unlike anything I had ever felt before.

I stared at Matt. I could see the fear in his eyes. We both knew things were not going as planned and we knew that it wasn't good for me or for the baby.

I heard them say our Little Man was out. I didn't hear him.

"He's limp" "He's not breathing" these are the things I heard.

The pain was still so intense. I had Matt stay with me as I seriously felt I might die there on the table. The pain was still so unbearable.

Right then, Jeff, our anesthesiologist, gave me laughing gas. What a Godsend.

I was able to hear what was going on but disassociate myself from the pain I was feeling. Very weakly in the corner or the room I finally heard our Little Man let out the tinyest of cries.

My Son was ALIVE!

As they stitched and stapled me up they told me I would be fine, Matt left with our son for the Nursery.

I shook uncontrollably after delivery. Enough that I was even scaring the doctors as I came down of my meds/endorphins/hormones. I shook like that for 2 hours after delivery.

My doctor apologized to me for the quickness of the surgery. They cut into me @ 1:33 and he was out by 1:35. That was not the slow c-section they had expected but an emergency.

The distress on our Little Man was so great that had they waited even a few minutes longer he might not be with us today.

Even as she explained these things to me I found myself thanking God.

Had I not gotten the epidural when I did I would have been completely unconscious for the birth of my son and he might not have made it out at all. Things truly went the absolute best way possible that they could have for our situation.

Matt and his parents were able to keep our Little Man company while he was taken care of in the nursery while my parents and sisters came to check on me post op. I scared Quinci with my shaking while Addie calmed me with her understanding of c-section recovery and emotions.

Our Little Man and Matt joined me after about an hour and I was finally able to hold my son. 

I was lucky enough to still be the first one to hold him and in that very second everything I had been through was so worth it. He is a perfect baby.

My whole pregnancy I had looked forward to the moment when I would push him out and they would place him on my chest. He was going to look up at me and know I was his Momma.

I didn't get that.

But the picture below of some of our first moments together are just as priceless.

As I held  him and his big blue brown eyes found me I knew he knew who I was. His eyes got so big as he took it all in.

I held him for a long time and finally asked if he was okay. 10 fingers. 10 toes. 

Everything was as it should be.

I found it funny that after that whole ordeal my greatest pain came from a muscle I tore while arching my back during delivery.

Around 4 a.m. we were wheeled over to recovery.

That night I fell asleep with my new son wrapped in my arms and my husband near by on his bed.

I was complete.

We are all doing well. We are happy and totally in love with our little one.

More updates to follow, I am sure.

Stats:

Name: L. M. White

DOB: Monday March 15, 2010 @ 1:35 a.m.

Length: 21.5 inches

Weight @ birth: 6 lbs 8.2 ounces

Weight as of 3/16/2010: 6 lbs 6.6. ounces

He has my nose and Matt's dark hair.

Here is our first family picture.