Self worth

"Man has two creators, his God and himself. The first creator furnishes him the raw materials of his life -- the laws and conformity with which he can make that life what he will. The second creator -- himself -- has powers he rarely realizes. It is what a man makes of himself that counts. " William George Jordan

Do you ever find yourself asking those eternal question of "why am I here?" "what good can I do?" "does anyone actually love me?" I think we all feel those things from time to time. I know I have and as I talk to people about it they admit in the privacy of the conversation that they too have felt that way.

Now upon looking at any person you may not see the struggles and challenges they face. You never know what is going on inside a person, what storms are raging in their mind.

Lately I have been seeking help to better understand myself and to learn coping mechanisms. You see for me coping is not something I actually do. Instead I bury the problem pretend that it never happened or it never hurt me. Although loud and opinionated I find that I let people walk all over me because I don't want to hurt them. I want them to feel good about themselves and because of that I make myself feel like crap by not fulfilling my own needs.

I am trying to stop that. I am trying to gain that self worth I was taught about in Young Womens. I am trying to recognize in myself the beauty that I have and to feed it, I am also trying to cut the bad things from my life to deal with problems then let them go.

I don't know why I am posting something that feels so private, but I guess it is that I can't change without help and just having other people know makes me feel better. And who knows maybe my journey will help someone else.

I play a huge part in creating myself. I am the master of my life, the choices right or wrong that I make are mine to make. I can't live in fear of sparing anothers feelings if it means hiding my own continually. I am allowed to feel, to choose, and to do what I feel is best for me. And so are you.

*Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God;* D&C 18:10